Mpho & Phumlani

We were invited to a wedding while visiting in South Africa. I used to work with the groom's father and my husband works with him presently. We felt very honoured to be invited, there were very few Whites. Both families are very well educated as are the bridal couple. It was interesting to see how they decided to celebrate their wedding - aspects of their own African culture as well as adopting many 'western' traditions.

They are from different tribes - she South Sotho and he Xhosa. This caused them some difficulty in the preparations and execution of the wedding as both traditions are strong - although it is my observation that the Sotho tribe, living in close proximity to Johannesburg, has been urbanized, where as the Xhosa from the previous Transkei are rural and as such have maintained their traditions and roots far more.

I was fascinated to discover that the tradition of 'labola' is still practiced. Labola is the 'gift' from the groom's family to the brides family. This was always paid in cattle in the past but logistics (the two families live far apart) and practicality (the bride's parents don't live on a farm) determined that a cash amount was paid. This is determined by various factors such as the girls social standing, level of education, etc. Before the young man could propose he needed to discuss all the details with his parents, they in turn made a trip to meet with the woman's parents and discussions took place. Then when this was agreed upon then they were free to marry. The groom confided that he'd asked he to marry him before that and the congregation laughed.

There was so much singing and dancing at the wedding. People were spontaneous and warm and the young couple looked so happy to be joining their lives together - I pray that they have a long and happy live of love together.